Jigsaw Health to acquire Apple (APPL) for $419 Billion
Will be giving away an iPod every day in April.
Scottsdale, AZ--(BUSINESS WIRE)--April 1, 2011
Since opening its doors on April 19, 2005, Jigsaw Health has been a pioneer in the field of dietary health supplements applying proprietary Sustained Release Technology to magnesium, vitamin C and other ingredients that at high doses are known to cause diarrhea. "For 6 years now, we've been #1 at preventing #2. We're very proud of that." said Patrick Sullivan Jr, co-founder and president of Jigsaw Health.
"The acquisition of Apple Computer seemed like an obvious merger to us. We have an apple as our logo. They have an apple for a logo. Duh." said Sullivan.
CEO of Apple, Steve Jobs said, "We couldn't be more pleased with Jigsaw's decision. I'm personally a very big fan of their Jigsaw Complete product. I look forward to co-development with the team."
Anonymous sources claimed that an iJigsaw will be available by fall of 2011, though no one has any idea what that might be.
By now, you realize that Jigsaw's acquisition of Apple is an April Fool's day joke, right? Haha!! What is most certainly NOT a joke is that April is Jigsaw's birthday month. We're going on 6 years! And to celebrate, Jigsaw will be surprising one lucky customer each day with an iPod Shuffle. Seriously.
"We get about 50 to 100 orders per day, so yeah, your chances of winning are pretty darn good." said Sullivan.
What's next for Jigsaw Health?
"We've got our eye on Apple Records." said Sullivan.
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So can I really, really win a free iPod?
Yes, absolutely. We're not joking about this. To qualify, just place an order of any amount on JigsawHealth.com or call us at 1-866-601-5800. (Please, no begging.) One lucky person every day in April will win an iPod Shuffle ($49 value).
Here's who's won already this month:
- April 1st = Shirley D. in Wimberley, TX
- April 2nd = David W. in Marana, AZ
- April 3rd = Maria I. in Cedar Creek, TX
- April 4th = Bryan M. in Santa Anna, CA
- April 5th = Diane M. in Torrance, CA
- April 6th = Gerald H. in Kansas City, KS
- April 7th = Beth T. in Phoenix, AZ
- April 8th = Marc R. in Las Vegas, NV
- April 9th = Kelly M. in Oviedo, FL
- April 10th = Josh B. in Spartanburg, SC
- April 11th = Larisa V. in Washington, DC
- April 12th = Melinda T. in Alba, TX
- April 13th = Mark W. in Mcleansboro, IL
- April 14th = Sandy C. in Lilington, NC
- April 15th = Don S. in San Jose, CA
- April 16th = Susan M. in O Fallon, IL
- April 17th = Larry O. in Pasadena, CA
- April 18th Shuffle = Debbie B. in Scottsdale, AZ
- April 18th Nano Touch = Janee S. in Rogers, MN
- April 19th Shuffle = Wendy W. in San Jose, CA
- April 19th Nano = Tim C. in East Peoria, IL
- April 20th Shuffle = Michelle S. in Hornell, NY
- April 20th Nano = Clifton M. in Oceanside, CA
- April 21st Shuffle = Maragret F. in Mattawan, MI
- April 21st Nano = Trent S. in Burbank, CA
- April 22nd Shuffle = Gary M. in Fords, NJ
- April 22nd Nano = Mary V. in Smyrna, TN
- April 23rd Shuffle = (haven't selected / shipped)
- April 24th Shuffle = (haven't selected / shipped)
- April 25th Shuffle = Possibly you?
- April 25th Apple TV = Possibly you?
Article ID: 673
